Archive | July, 2011

Friday Laughs

29 Jul

It’s Friday of the long weekend and you know what that means?! Road trippin’ with Jamally this afternoon.

To ease that potential stress, maybe I’ll tell him some of these jokes during the car ride. I’ll bring a set of drums so I can “bu-dum-chang!” at the end of each joke. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.

I am signed on to a triathlete list serve and each day the list serve operator posts jokes at the end. Every day I know I’m going to get to read at least one joke.

This morning’s jokes are ones to make you smile, and I thought I’d share for your Friday Laughs. Enjoy!

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I was in the six-item express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?"


Wouldn’t it be great if that happened more often?
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Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

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Three friends from the local congregation were asked, ‘When you’re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?’
Artie said: ‘ I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.’
Eugene commented: ‘I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people’s lives.’
Al said: ‘I’d like them to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!’
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A man goes to a shrink and says, ‘Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry’s bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I’m going crazy. What do you think I should do?’
‘Relax,’ says the Doctor, ‘take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry’s bar? ‘
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A man goes to see the Rabbi. ‘Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.’
The Rabbi asked, ‘What’s wrong?’
The man replied, ‘My wife is poisoning me.’
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, ‘How can that be?’
The man then pleads, ‘I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s poisoning me, what should I do?’
The Rabbi then offers, ‘Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I’ll see what I can find out and I’ll let you know.’
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?’
The man said yes and the Rabbi replied, ‘Take the poison’

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Today’s Question: Which is your favourite joke? I like the funeral one!

Green Monster

27 Jul

Happy Hump Day, ya’ll!

I knew it was Hump Day when I saw the Town Crier in Shopper’s Drug Mart today: he told me so. Smile

After being out of the home office all morning, I came home and was – as my nephew used to say – ‘stawvin’ hungwy’.

I honestly don’t know what’s come over me, but I came home and consumed a leftover salad and a smoothie. Seriously, someone call a doctor.

I loaded the salad with homemade roasted salt and vinegar chick peas. Delish.

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I recently came across Angela’s Green Monster Movement website, where she has a passion to share her love for green smoothies.

She has soooo many green smoothie recipes, and since I bought a pint of blueberries this week – half of which would most likely by tossed out – I tried out her Blueberry Green Monster.

  • 2 cups spinach
  • 1 cup almond milk
  • 1 banana
  • 1/2 cup blueberries
  • 1 tbsp flax seed
  • ice

Delish, part deux!

Green Monster Smoothie

Spinach scares me, but I’m slowly overcoming my fear. Beets also scare me. Haven’t even attempted that one.

While outside, I thought it’s a good time to give you an update on our crazy garden.

Remember our Garden in May?

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Now check it out. It’s insane.

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The colours are beautiful, but it still overwhelms me.

Today’s Question: What food scares you, and have you overcome your fear?

How to Gauge your Running Distance

26 Jul

I was out Sunday night with my new running partner (who kicked my butt!), and I told her of a 10-km I usually follow.

By the time we were nearing the end of our route, she looked down at her Garmin watch and discovered we were only at 9.27 km. Hmm…I overestimated.

It got me thinking about how to best gauge your distance covered. The options I brainstormed range from high tech to old school. Thankfully, I fall in the middle.

Here they are:

1. Garmin

My parents gave me a Garmin for Christmas a few years back, and I was thrilled. And then I put it on. And then my wrist dropped to the ground. It reminds me of Penny’s watch from Inspector Gadget.

'Brain?! Are you there Brain?!'

Sidenote: I used to hide behind our couch as a kid with a watch and a book in hand, pretending I was Penny. Loved her.

The Garmin is a boxy contraption, but you do get used to it. It tells you your pace per kilometre, distance covered and can help you pace yourself really well. But for me, I am constantly looking at it, obsessing about numbers. It doesn’t allow me to listen to my body and it easily distracts me. I do love it when running partners have it on, as I can switch off but still know my distance and time in the end.

2. Online Mapping

Shuffle to the computer after your run and you can discover the distance you covered. Online mapping websites, such as mapmyrun.com, allow you to track your route and learn its distance. You can also check out local routes others have already made and downloaded to the site. When travelling in Melbourne, Australia, I checked out mapmyrun.com, and discovered an amazing route near my hotel!

Map My Run

When it comes to mapping my run, this is my favourite way to go, as I can plan out my runs, or return home from a run and see my results. Except often I underestimated. (Hello?! 9.27 km?!)

3. Car

Run your route. Stretch. Get in your car. Drive your route. This is such an old school method, but it’s no fail for the most part.

'Hop In!'

The only downfall is if you go a little off road, you can’t exactly drive across a soccer field. Or can you?

Today’s Question: How do you Gauge your Running Distance?

Thank Our Stars

25 Jul

Last Friday I grumbled about the heat. While I’d prefer the heat over cold, I’m guilty in that I’m quick to complain about inconveniences caused by MN (Mother Nature!).

The house is hot. I can’t run in the rain. The snakes by the river freak me out.

Ok, that last one was a little off-center from my point, but you get the…ahh…points.

These past few days I’ve been covering a local story in nearby Smiths Falls, where First Nations from northwestern Ontario had to evacuate their homes due to the smoke caused by nearby forest fires. More than half of the community is currently staying in Smiths Falls, while the remaining residents are either still in their community or housed somewhere else in the province.

Hosting a Press Conference in Smiths Falls

They had 45 minutes to pack up. They flew in an army plane. They didn’t even know where they were going. And now they don’t know when they’re going back.

Facing chronic illness and a major shift in their diets, they’re just going day by day, sleeping on cots in a massive, un-air-conditioned building.

It made me Thank Our Stars. Not to be said in a pedantic way, but just that it gave me perspective.

Maybe for a day it will stop me from complaining about the heat. Or my running injuries. Or the snakes by the rivers.

Today’s Question: What events have given you perspective?

 

 

Which is Worse?

22 Jul

It’s stinkin’ hot.

These past few days have left our house disgustingly gross and last night Tux and I headed to my parents’ place for some quality lakeside time.

While sitting on the patio and eating my parents’ food and drinking my parents’ beer, my dad reminded me last night to compare this heat wave to an ice storm. It got me thinking – I would much rather a stinkin’ hot day as opposed to ice freezing to my nose hairs.

So here’s today’s time waster. Which is Worse?

A. 45-degree summer day? Or a -40-degree windchill?

B. A Messy Kitchen? Or a Dirty Bathroom?

C. Cleaning out a dirty diaper or picking up dog poop?

(Sorry, no photos to accompany this one!)

D. Realizing the roll of toilet paper is empty? Or using the last of the milk bag?

E. I’m sorry. It’s Friday and I’m hot. I got nothing else.

 

Today’s Question: Answer the above questions! AND….give me a Which is Worse Scenario 🙂

Our Wedding Proposal Anniversary

21 Jul

Two years ago yesterday, Jamally asked me a life-changing question.

He asked me where he left his car keys.

No, wait, that was today.

On May 26, 2009, Tuxedo was born (he’s really taking over this blog, isn’t he?). Jamally’s co-worker’s dogs had pups, so we took them up on their offer to take one. We went to their place, and with four black dogs and two whites ones, we picked one of the black ones.

Cuddlers, unite!

Those next few weeks, we were excited about getting him and came up with the name associated with his colouring layout – Tuxedo. We were to get him the end of July.

On Monday, July 20, 2009, I walked home from work. I spotted a bouquet of flowers on the table. “Weird,” I thought. “Jamally made an effort, and on a Monday!”

Jamally poked his head around the corner, with a ridiculously huge smile on his face.

As per usual, I got suspicious with such a greeting. He came out from around the corner, holding Tux.

Tux was wearing a red ribbon around his neck.

The red ribbon was holding a ring.

Who Needs Pigeons as Messengers?

Jamally asked a question, and you can probably predict my answer.

He later joked he knew I couldn’t say no with a puppy in his hands.

Dogs with Jobs

He may be right, but it worked.

Today’s Question: What is the most romantic thing your partner has done for you?

Four Hour Body Diet Results

20 Jul

Well, we did it! We’re done the four-hour body diet.

And our results?

Jamally’s results were wild. In just under four weeks, he lost a total of eight inches around his chest, waist and hips.

He also lost 11.5 lb.

We did a “Before and After” shot of Jamally, and you can really notice a difference.

He wasn’t entirely convinced posting his shirtless photos on the blog was up his alley.

So I did the next best thing:

Photoshop!

As I previously stated, my intent was not to lose weight, but to determine whether my headaches were caused by a food intolerance.

In my first week I really noticed a difference with my headaches, but the following three weeks was about normal for my headache frequency. The good news is I obviously don’t have any allergies to dairy or gluten: bring on the pancakes!

After four weeks of stuffing our faces with beans, meat, eggs and veggies, I know one thing:  I don’t want omelets with black beans for a while.

Though the diet was bland, here’s what we learned:

  • We had a starch addiction
  • You will survive a potluck dinner
  • Your stomach does feel better when you don’t stuff it with cheese and bread (sic: pizza)
  • You don’t need carbs, but rather protein to fill you up. Cooking up a couple of eggs will do much more for hunger than putting a couple of pieces of bread in the toaster.
  • I learned how to make a lot of new dishes and an amazing smoothie
  • That I do really love Ketchup Chips, and I missed them a lot.

Today’s Question: How have you changed your diet over time?